A Vivid Description of the "Judge"
Fred, a 19 year-old adolescent boy·, described what it was like to grow up with the constant stress from his raging, abusive, Judge-dominated dad. Fred had a very clear picture memory of his experience with his raging dad:
"If dad were upset, he would have anger fits. Then he'd go to his room. He would become very quiet, but gave out an angry stare. He wouldn't say anything. When dad was silent, I couldn't tell how angry he really was. When he was loud and more explosive, it was easy to tell. He had the coldest stare. When he was silent, I didn't know when the big explosion was coming. It was like stepping through a mine field. His silence made me more nervous than when he actually exploded. The silence was worse because I didn't know."
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The Judge and Addictions
"·though many recovering people find that life does improve with sobriety, their low self-esteem, fear and even depression remain pretty much unchanged. This can be very frustrating and baffling to many people after so much time, effort and money have been invested in bringing about basic life changes. Other people who have spent years in intensive psychotherapy may still find themselves psychologically stuck after putting forth so much effort. They have learned a great deal about themselves and their problems, but they seem unable to progress beyond a certain point. They still feel blocked by something in their lives. Henry felt such a block and described it as a wall. When he took a closer look, he discovered that this wall was, psychologically, the face of his depressed father (his Judge)."
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The Calcium "Shell"
"The wounded inner child in Cindy made an alliance with her Judge that in order to feel safe, she would have to cut herself off from her own feelings by creating a "calcium shell". There is increasing clinical and research evidence that what Cindy learned to do with her feelings as a child actually produces a build-up of excess calcium in her cells and tissues. This leads to what we refer to literally as a calcium shell. It became part of her emotional defense at the level of her cells and tissues, which further helps to block and numb her feelings. She doesn't even have to think about it anymore. It happens automatically because her calcium shell blocks and numbs her feelings.
Other clients talk about having a wall that blocks their feelings and their relationships. We frequently see this calcium shell in a hair tissue mineral analysis which is done by a specialized type of laboratory. In this type of a laboratory test, the calcium level is very high, especially in relation to magnesium. The high calcium level reflects a build-up of excess calcium in the soft tissues of the body. This calcium shell develops out of the mind/body's need to protect itself from criticism, abuse, and unpredictable Judge attacks."
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